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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Social Stumblebums Anonymous (SSA)'s LiveJournal:

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Saturday, July 24th, 2010
1:07 am
How many people who participate in this community actually have a locked down journal? I'm curious how open we are to change and people pursuing an interest in us.
Sunday, November 19th, 2006
3:48 am


I don't feel lonely all the time, and sometimes I even feel that I belong. Eventually, though, I get the feeling that I don't. I've realized that I simply don't fit in, that people can not truly like me. I adjust myself accordingly - I've come to expect no true connection.
What I'm saying is, am I selfish and spoiled for feeling this way? Maybe it's part of "the human condition", only feeeling connection at times, and then having it go away just as quickly? Maybe I suck at human interraction and it's entirely my fault.
It doesn't help that I speak too much, while being bad at verbal expression. I also have many stupid moments, especially when I didn't have enough sleep.
The last entry made me think of a thing that always happens. Say, you speak to a person. And then while you're speaking, they turn awy, or start speaking to someone else. It's a case of "is it me or them"?
I expect/dread that you wll say something like "hey, we have social anxiety. You just sound like an obnoxious emo teenager" Or something.
Have a nice day?
Friday, September 22nd, 2006
12:00 am
I'm sure this has happened to all of you or most of you.

But do you ever just talk to a family member,friend or just whoever. And they 'pretend' to care what you say is important or care what you just told them or whatever. And they go faking a personality around you. To make you think they actually give a damn what you say when you speak?

It makes me not want to say anything at all to like anyone. Like if I just didn't say anything it would save these idiots from pretending care what I say.

Like my stepmom,Melanie will say "Okay." & "Uh huh" a lot. And especially it's the way people say it that you know they don't care or maybe I pay attention to much about how people say things.

And than people wonder why you don't talk at all or barely ever talk. Sorry I had this problem w/ my stepmom. She pretends care but she doesn't really care.
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
6:42 pm
I've just created a community for single socially anxious people: sa_singles. It's a bit empty at the moment, but hopefully it will pick up a little.

I am socially anxious myself, and for me it's hard to meet anyone anywhere, even online. So I thought a community like that might be useful.

Sorry if this entry is a nuisance.

Current Mood: hopeful
Saturday, January 7th, 2006
2:38 am
social drain
Here's something taken from an article that somebody posted something about in a hermits community.

"Extroverts gain energy by being out and about," but "being with people takes energy from introverts, and they need to get away to restore that energy."

And that just made me realize something.

I have really weird sleep habits that usually have me getting really good sleep through parts of the day and having a hard time sleeping at night.

Even when I don't sleep during the day, my night sleep just doesn't tend to be as good as my day sleep.

I think it's because at night I'm pretty much alone since everybody is asleep so I'm energized, and in the day time w/ everybody up and about I feel drained.


I was just wondering, does anybody else experienced something similar?

Sunday, December 18th, 2005
9:42 pm
I think i might have social anxiety disorder, but i dont know. Like i always feel as if everyone is talking about me/making fun of me/laughing at me because i wear weird clothes, or i act weird, or i am just ugly. I also liek i cant talk around people i am not friends with because i dont know what to say, and i am scared i am going to say something that they think is really weird. Also i HATE giving speeches/talking in front of the class, and i hate asking/asnwering questions because i am scared i am going to sound stupid, or that i am answering it wrong. I also dont like it when people read my writing because i am scared they might think i am really stupid/ bad writer (what i am) but i dont wnat them to make fun of my writing. Also, i hate running iinto peopel who i kind of know, but i am not that good of friends with them, b/c i dont know if i should say hi or not, because i dont know if they think i am weird and wouldnt want me to say hi to them. Also, when i like guys i dont tell people who i like beacuse i am scared they are going to make fun of me, and also if my friends think someone is weird, i dont allow my self to like them anymore because i dont want my friends/peers at my school to think i am weird b/c i am dating a weird guy. Can you tell me what you guys think about me?
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
4:42 pm
my friendless life
so i grew up and lived in the same town my whole life and i basically had no friends and what friends i did have (other than my little sister who is my best friend) i have had since high school and none of them were much more than people i hung out with every once in a while. So over the summer i moved across the state and thought that this was my chance to have a different life, to have the kind of i have always dreamed of with a group of friends (like 90210 style or friends or sex and the city). Just a group of friends i can count on that i know will be there for each other. So I've been here almost 5 months now and guess what I have no friends. I've gone from at least having my little sister to nothing. no one. i spend all my time in class and at work and what free time i have i spend alone. I've never been so lonely in my life. i feel totally alone up here and i don't understand why. i talk to people at school and work but they never want to hang out outside of that. i'm only 23 so i don't just want to sit around by myself all the time i want to go out and have fun with people my own age. the closest thing i have to friends up here and the people that call me to tell me how much fun they had when they went out, but not once have they ever invited me to join them or this one friend who only invites me to hang out at his apartment and if i suggest going out anywhere he doesn't want to, but he is a frat boy and has tons of friends and i know he goes out so it makes me feel like i'm not someone he wants to be see with. i know i'm not ugly cause people tell me that i'm cute i feel like such a loser and i hate it and i don't know how to fix it. i've tried to be more outgoing and talk to more people and I've joined more clubs and everything and nothing seems to work. its like there is something about me that makes people not want to be around me and i don't get it. I just wish i understood why i have no friends and how to fix it, cause moving and becoming more outgoing didn't do it so there must be some special trick to getting people ti include you that i just don't get

Current Mood: depressed
Thursday, October 6th, 2005
4:06 pm
Anyone feel anxious and nervous when someone(like a stranger) randomly next to you asks you a question and especially if you don't know how answer them? It happens to me and I get so nervous.
Thursday, September 8th, 2005
10:37 am
Umm, Hello..
Since, there hasn't been a post in forever.. i figure I will post a small introduction.
I've always been rather shy. And by shy I mean, if i'm out in public and someone looks at me or even talks to me..i'll turn 45 different shades of red. I get the line "are you ok? can you breathe?" a lot.

In school, i had a ton of friends and was actually quite comfortable in large groups of people and enjoyed the random days where i'd be alone in public people-watching and so on. I think because school was a form of forced social situations, i eventually got out of being a Social Stumblebum.

I graduated and moved in with my boyfriend at the time and it was a totally different town and everyone suddenly became creepy and I never left exceopt to go to work and eventually work creeped me out and my relationship fell apart. I moved in with a friend and eventually that became a relationship and i've been here 3 years and have only been outside on my own a total of maybe 5 times.
I WANT to be social. I want to have friends and I have dreams of at least being a local artist..and how in the world am i going to do that if I don't even like going outside to get my mail? And don't even get me started about the phone. Thank the gods for caller-ID.

Anyhoo.. I refuse to take medication.. so has anyone else come up with any fun ways to let go of themselves and not become a trembling,tomato red mess?
Sunday, April 17th, 2005
12:12 pm
I have social anxiety disorder. But I'm poor and spending like a million dollars on college and I need to get a job this summer and I am absolutely terrified. It seems like the only things out there are cashier/waitressing jobs and I've tried them before and have not lasted more than a week due to overwhelming anxiety and even a panic attack in an employees-only bathroom. Does anyone have any ideas as to a job where I can just hide in a room somewhere and do something and get paid for it?

Friday, January 21st, 2005
8:41 pm
Anyone Want A Free Ipod?
Yeah if you haven't got yourself an ipod yet go here and sign up to get one: http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=13083606 These things are 250$ regular price, but they are completely awesome! I can't wait to get mine!! Just thought some of you here might be interested. ;)
Saturday, December 18th, 2004
10:34 pm
Okay, this is a great place for me! I'm a little different from the others here in the sense that I am a particularly outgoing person that enjoys the company of others, especially women. I enjoy talking and chatting, especially engaging in intelligent conversation. My problem? Well, I apparently have terrible social skills because instead of attracting people that desire to spend times with me, I for some reason turn people off. When I was younger, I figured it was related to having a rather "geeky" appearance, with a "Bill Gates haircut", glasses, and a skinny, non-athletic physique. These things have changed about me over the course of the past several years, yet my lack of social attraction has not!

The typical way a conversation goes with someone be it a male or female is that I may notice something about that person that I may share a common interest in. This can be a variety of things. A shirt or other article of clothing they are wearing, a car they are driving, an interesting place they live...anything really! Well, I use that to strike up a conversation. I'll break the ice with that person, and at first they will seem flattered at my curiosity. It does not take long however for that person to get un-interested in conversing with me. One of my thoughts is that I "overstay my welcome" in that person's presence, so I have learned to back off from a conversation relatively quickly. However this has not helped any at all. That person will never look me up again, and rarely seem interested in me making a return acquaintence...thus the friendship fizzles.

I have not really figured out why people are turned off from me. I feel myself as a good listener, because I am usually rather intrigued by other people and what they have to say. My only thought is that I am a brutualy honest person, but I have learned to refrain myself and just not say anything if I honestly don't like something that a person has asked me an opinion about. Although I can take constructive criticism very well, I know other people are the exact opposite and are really offended by it. I really fear for the day when I must answer the "Do I look fat?" question from a female!
Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
11:56 am
Hi! I suck at introductions (obviously) so apologies if this is somewhat incoherent.
I'm a guy, age 23, fairly normal in most respects, but I have one hellacious case of social anxiety. I've always had just a very few close friends, but ever since the end of high school these friends have moved away. Consequently, I haven't really had any social life to speak of for the last 6 years. Not surprisingly, I'm a virgin, too, which in itself seems to make things more difficult for some reason.
Recently I've been tackling my anxiety issues and doing fairly well, but old habits die hard, and even when I'm not nearly puking from nervousness around people, I'm just plain lacking the social skills to talk to people (outside of a work/client sort of relationship). Things are particularly difficult when it comes to talking to women, it seems. I can do pretty well in business situations (talking to customers at work for instance) but anything beyond that is still pretty much impossible for me. I'm working on it, but it's slow going.
One of the odd things about socializing is that it gets easier as you go on. Kinda goes without saying - if you have a few friends, they can introduce you to all sorts of other people. If you don't have any friends, well, you're pretty much at square 1.

Anyway, looks like a great community you have here... Hopefully I'll be able to add something to the discussions besides depressed ranting soon enough :)

Current Mood: lonely
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
11:02 pm
It's my last counselling session tomorrow. I leave for university in less than two weeks.

i really don't know what to talk about in my last session. I'm stuck. I don't really think counselling has helped me a lot. It's helped me understand what goes on inside of me. It just hasn't stopped it, as such.

I just have a problem with blushing and my mind going blank. As it's my last session I want to ask questions and stuff. I just don't know what to say.

In my previous session there was lots of silences. I didn't know what to say. I have no social life so it's not like i could have talked about that.

I don't feel anxious about university at the moment. It'll probably kick in on the day I go or just before. The fact that I'm going hasn't sunk in yet. Obviously I know I'm going it just doesn't feel real until the day.

I tried to go last year you see. I freaked out when I got there though and got my parents to take me home. They tried to take me back the next day but I kinda had a panic attack. I didn't feel anxious before then either. It just came on the day.

I just wondered if anyone had any idea of what I could talk about tomorrow? Or anything that will make me think about what to say and that.

Current Mood: confused
Friday, August 6th, 2004
2:22 am
I'm a stalker!
Just joined, and I am hoping for input on an awkward situation:

I invaded someone's privacy because I was too shy to actually talk to her...Collapse )
Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
11:01 pm
I'm going to university in September I was supposed to go last year. I did for like 5 minutes..and chickened out and went home. I'm really shy and worried about it. I always blush..and can never think of things to say to people. When people saythings to me I neevr know how to reply. If I try to make conversation it's alwayas plain and boring. I can't be myself at all. I feel like I have no personality. It's worse when there is a group of people. They all tend to get on fine..I just sit their saying nothing. I just feel really self aware.

I don't like drinking or drugs because I don't feel comfortable enough to do that with people. So I feel like I won't fit in. I don't like night clubs either.

At home I am fine, crazy and happy. I just trun into someone else in the company of strangers and people my age.

I just wondered if any of you guys are in college and how you coped/found it to start with. I really have no idea what to expect.

Thank yoooou.
Tuesday, July 27th, 2004
10:24 pm
*raises hand* I am a recovering social inept. Actually, I'm a recovering lot of things, recovering self-mutilator, a recovering manic depressive, ect. I am most socially inept when I'm with my extended family and my parents like to point out whenever I'm uncomfortable at family functions. And that perpetuates it even more. I'm okay when I have a friend with me, but sometimes I just become so incredibly uncomfortable in social situations. Most people see me as confident and outgoing, but in truth, I am not comfortable with myself or at all confident. My family doesn't understand it either especially my parents. I joined this community to find other people who can sympathize.

Current Mood: blah
Friday, July 16th, 2004
1:12 am
Checking in
Hello everybody! It sure has been awhile. I just thought I'd post because it's been so quiet lately.

I guess this summer I've actually been quite social. I've been talking to people and going places without my brother. I also did something I never thought I would do, I told a girl I liked her! She turned me down, but I feel like I made a lot of progress. I am back in the driver's seat. Now if I could just find a girl that actually liked me, I would be all set!
Monday, July 5th, 2004
11:44 am
FREE monthly shyness / anxiety newsletter
Hello, SHY United Newsletter is a free monthly support email newsletter for people who are shy, socially anxious, have low self-esteem or low self confidence. To go to the signup page simply click on the link below:


Shane McKay

SHY United
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
11:53 pm
so whens this 'alcoholic social stumblebum' meeting supposed to happen? I read about in the SI info.

Current Mood: exhausted
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